• Appendage Adage
    Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

  • Hammond’s Rule
    The second mouse gets the cheese.

  • Paisley’s Law
    Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
  • Thoughtfulness Decree
    If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
  • The Traveler’s Maxim
    When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.